Mirror Work: Modelling Self Love for Little Ones

My one year old looked up at me in silence. That was rare. Usually his sticky little hands were outstretched, as he worked hard to put together just the right string of sounds to make Mummy do exactly what he wanted in that moment. But he was silent. He was still. He was looking at me with a worried expression.
As I stood there with my mascara wand hovering above my left eye, I caught my own reflection and laughed. Yup, this sight was odd. I wondered how he was piecing this together in his beautiful little mind to make sense. What must he think I am doing?

They watch everything don’t they?

Even the moments that aren’t meant for them. Our little ones hover at our feet and soak it all in. That responsibility is one that I have learned to appreciate fiercely. In parenting him, I am reparenting myself. Looking at the world, my perspective, my opinions and preferences and questioning it all. There is a freedom in being completely open to experiencing the world with fresh eyes. But honestly, knowing my choices will shape my son’s beliefs weighs heavy on me sometimes.

We cant control the narrative our children create – but we can bring consciousness to what we are doing and how little, impressionable eyes might interpret that.

Now more than ever we hope to raise resilient children, grounded in themselves and connected to their community. Self love and confidence is a personal journey for each of us. We cannot force it upon our children. What we can do is model what self love practices look like to us in the hope that they might one day develop their own strategies for self love, connection and compassion.

Our children see us cook, clean, work, rest, socialise… but do they see the way we relate to ourselves? Do they see the way in which we invest in the internal work its requires to build confidence and clarity?

Inspired by author Louise Hay and her book “Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life” I have begun fun mirror exercises as a daily practice. My intention is for my son to be in my presence bearing witness to the relationship I am building with myself.

“Each day that you practice this new way of thinking about yourself and about life will help erase the old, negative messages you have been carrying for so long,” Hay says in the book. “Soon you will be smiling more and finding it easier to look in the mirror. Soon the affirmations will start to feel true.”

At one years old (closer to two and determined to act three) my son pays very little attention to me as I sit in front of our full length mirror. He runs about, climbs on me, leaves the room altogether. Thats ok. Because there are times where I can see him looking, listening, comprehending. Little by little a little becomes a lot. My word isn’t gospel. What I am saying doesn’t matter. The point is that I am modelling this exercise. He may never speak words of love to himself in the mirror – but Im hopeful that he might find his own practice one day.

In being motivated to be a positive role model for him – I am in fact checking in with myself. As parents, this is something that often falls off our to do list. What I am modelling is important. If its what I want for my child, it is what I should give to myself.

We all deserve to give ourselves the love we so freely give to others.

Here is my current Mirror Work, inspired by Louise Hay.

I sit cross legged in front of my mirror and say

“Hello. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I love you”

Then I smile at myself. I look into my own eyes and I smile at myself.

I tell myself “You are doing a great job of being you”

“I love you”

There are big long breaths taken between these sentences. Often my son comes and sits in my lap while I do this. I take time to be silly with him. We pull funny faces. Then I speak words of love to myself.

We are all just doing the best we can when we can. Even on the days when we dont feel like we are much of an example. When the wheels have fallen off. We can make this small offering to ourselves (those are the days when we need it most)

TO READ MORE ABOUT LOUISE HAY AND MIRROR WORK VISIT HER WEBSITE https://www.louisehay.com/learning-mirror-work/